Oh, that moment when
strivings reach some peak
and I’ve cried inaudibly
day and night
with groans
that You’d
take away
this indwelling madness
and pitiful misery,

thorns poking
from my dead idolatry
and unbelief,
and You faithfully
let me see
what it looks like
to face death’s eminence
daily deteriorating
a man’s flesh
and his wife’s heart,
both failing,
yet
will praise You
through this
downcast season
even his last,
even her last
with him.
And I sang with her
a few lines
of, “Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go”
and asked them
what You are teaching them
through this storm,
and they told me,
“To accept what He has for us right now.”
And she confessed
at times she
questions and doubts
Your wisdom,
“But I’m still a sinner.”
she said.
And she had resolved
to thank You
in the midst
of this test.

It makes me
want to run
to You
want to fall
before You
until You are my vision
and I see no other
worldly attachment
sinful entanglement
or despair’s closeness,
until my heart
is convinced
that
You are my portion.